I know when I’ve had enough, when I have one song stuck on repeat, I think this is at least the 9th iteration of r.e.m’s “losing my religion”
Wait, it just rolled onto the tenth. I guess that means I have to drag myself out of bed, put on a face filled with false bravado, ride to work, try not to think and power through the day.
Then I can come home, stare at a blank screen and listen to R.E.M some more, until this is all over.
Well that was a fun two days… I learnt things, some I had known others I had not, and one or two things I didn’t want to accept.
Right when life is good, it can throw you a curveball, hit you right in the heart, destroying a part of your life, replacing it with a twisted writhing mass of unchecked emotions, loss and confusion.
I feel as if the path I am on now, it will take me to where I need to be, although how I get there will be unpredictable, I can only hope that it will get better
This changes now.
I am here to writing this to tell you that my life is the closest thing to paradise a guy like me could have, I may not be living in a mansion, I may not have a six figure pay, I don’t drive a sports car.
But the thing is, I don’t need those things to be happy. If I ever want to be happy and be proud of the man I am, I look at my greatest achievement in life…
And watch her sleep peacefully in our bed :)
I love you, Diana
So yeah I haven’t been on here for a while and thought I’d at least update the blog.
Things are going my way, I have a lovely woman, a full time job and a place over my head. There isn’t much else I’m going to write for the moment, but keep an eye open, I might have more to write in the future.
Fuck…
Today was a miasma of sadness and melancholy.
Remember that feeling when you feel bad tidings coming, crashing down upon you like a tidal wave of foreboding sadness…
Yeah, I know that feeling.
So, another night spent up late…
Sleep doesn’t come as natural to me as what it used to, I used to be able to sleep quite a bit earlier on in the night, But recently I find myself staying up later and later.
It matters not, I shall write what I think.
I have a song stuck in my head at the moment, “How to save a life” by The Fray… It’s a pleasant enough, I have no real attachment to it, But it has been stuck in my head since I heard it sung by a friend of mine at the local nightclub karaoke.
She had recently dumped/been dumped, I’m not sure of the exact details, and sung it. Although she is not the worlds greatest singer, she still tried, and I could tell she felt it down deep inside.
They were the perfect couple, seemingly happy and tolerant of one another, always seeming to smile and whatnot.
It just goes to show just how easy a relationship can fall apart, Despite the illusion of happiness. A relationship is focused on trust, honor and love, and if one of those supports crumbles the whole metaphorical wall comes crashing down, shattering the life that was built upon its support.
A relationship without these three main ingredients is always doomed from the beginning, Sure it can be fun and a distraction from everyday life, but when the push comes to shove, that’s all it is.
It isn’t about how much time you spend with your partner, nor how much you show that you love them, as long as in the end they knew, and valued the time you were together.
So… although you may end up walking down a different path, remember that you were once happy, forget the bad parts, look up and smile at a new day, a new beginning and most importantly a new way of life.
4chan, it’s like a carnival, a show.
it’s a constant whirl of sideshows, every kind.
any of your thoughts are exploited, not just your own, thoughts of others that are just like you. people you’ve never met from all reaches of the globe.
women, men, teens, gay people, lesbians, child molesters, victims, anyone and everyone.
makes you wonder just how great our society is?
I love it.
/b/ tard 4 life.
Raegis
Fuck it all. Fuck you, fuck me… Fuck work, fuck happiness, fuck everyone. You can all fucking burn. If Dee wasn’t cuddling me now I’d fucking scream. Fuck it! AAAAaaargh!
Dee… I love you, I’ve felt more happy in the last year than I’ve ever been. I just wanted you to know.
I’m so tired, but that’s probably due to the fact that it’s 2:22 in the morning as I wrote this.
So… First girfriend ever, Now has a kid. I wish them well, all the best and whatnot. Just thinking about that makes me notice that times are finally changing, life is progressing at a more accelerated pace. We’ve grown up and gotten jobs, gotten engaged, lost jobs, broken up, come out to the parents, and a various multitude of other things.
I see friends whom I used to be really close to on facebook, I see them live their life and I get the urge to write “I hardly know you anymore” on their wall. This is not through anyone’s particular fault, Time progresses and friendships are usually the first victims.
Take my friend Vicki, We used to be really close, Quite good friends, there was even an air of romance at one point.
But now she’s as far out of my thoughts as one could be, Just another friend among the 305 that I have on there. We used to be special, but she moved and went on with her life. Time strikes again, ever present, ever moving.
I get the urge to delete her, but I keep her added, mostly as a war of “Friendship Attrition” I’ll fight to see how long I can last, until I feel the urge to remove her completely.
The thought of removing a friend from contact like that should be scary, but in this fast moving day and age, it really isn’t.
Dee, The love of my life is one of the good things that happened due to time, I eventually met her and life is absolutely wonderful due to this, I love you Diana.
